In my last blog I shared about losing my dad and how even during grief we can experience joy. (If you didn't read that one, be sure to check it out on my Blog page on the website.) Today I want to take that conversation a little further. We live in a very either/or culture. Either you think this or that...but what happens when it's both/and instead? Before I confuse you let me explain. For example: I do not support the NRA and I am a firm believer in the second amendment and our need for reform. I can be both. This would be in our values.
Here's another area in which two things can be true. Boundaries. I am in charge of making this decision, and my answer is no. You are in charge of your feelings, and you're allowed to be upset. When we hold boundaries and give permission for feelings everyone around us feels seen. (Dr. Becky, Good Inside) For example with a teenager: "You want to go our with your friends and I'm not comfortable with the current plan. I know it stinks when parents say no; let's figure out something we can agree on." We can take this example into all of our relationships. Dr. Brene' Brown taught us that 'Clear is kind'. Don't beat around the bush, be clear. If you don't want to do it, don't. If you do, the chances are you will end up resenting the other person for your lack of boundaries.
I recently finished, Good Inside by Dr Becky. I highly recommend it regardless of what ages your children/grandchildren are. In order for us to teach them healthy boundaries we must first model them.
As you meditate on this thought...what two things are true for you?
How can you practice and model this in your life this week?
Have the best week available to you!!
Much love,
Alice
Here's a link to her website for more information.
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