What Happens When We Step Away—Even Briefly

Alice Ranker
Feb 8
3 min read

Stepping away doesn’t mean escaping life. It means entering a space where nothing is being asked of you, and noticing what rises when the mental load is set down.

It starts with the drive. I turn up the music, really loud and sing without reservation. I arrive early to be sure I have time to get settled in and grounded before the others arrive. We always stay by the ocean. You can smell the salt in the air and see the waves crashing on the shore. And then, there’s a deep breath.

For some of us, we haven’t seen one another since last year. We hug, long hugs that relay…I see you and I’m so glad you’re here. Another deep breath.

We come in our sweats and yoga pants. We bring our favorite snacks even though there’s enough food here to feed many more than will show up. We bring house shoes and blankets and we unplug from our lives, for 2 days anyway.

No one needs anything from us in this space. We are free to show up and be present in any way that honors our current season. There’s not a tight agenda or schedule to adhere to or emotional caretaking required. This, we all know, is a luxury and one that may take a few hours to settle into.

This kind of retreat isn’t for everyone.

And there are some that, while hesitant at first, find that this gathering allows them the space to recognize that they have been carrying a lot and didn’t know how much until they were given the space and time to set it down.

On the first night, once everyone has arrived, our bellies are full of delicious food and ache from the laughter, so much laughter, we gather in the living room. This is my favorite time. Our leader will share from her heart, always landing with us, some laugh, some cry, some sit quietly reflecting, and then we pause and meditate. The meditations over the weekend have been specifically crafted for us, for this weekend. They never disappoint.

Friendships are formed over the weekend. These ladies come ready to share and receive encouragement, inspiration, and wisdom. They may also share their hearts, their struggles, and their achievements. We are here for it all.

Not because these things were planned—but because space allowed them.

And so, it repeats throughout the weekend. We share. We laugh. We dance. We create. We sing. We cry. We sit with ourselves, meditating. We breathe deep salty air. We exchange gifts.

For three days we show up without roles… without fixing, leading, guiding, or producing. We are accepted for simply being ourselves.

Can this be achieved without a retreat? Yes. But I will admit that it will require more intention. Of course it’s easier when we leave our normal space and the daily responsibilities. There’s a beauty in sharing this with other ladies.

However, carving out time in your daily routine isn’t as simple.

At home, there are reminders everywhere—of what needs to be done, who needs something, what hasn’t been finished yet. The mental load doesn’t stay neatly at the door. And I’ll be honest: I’m still learning how to create this kind of spaciousness without leaving town.

What I do know is this—stepping away reminded me of what becomes possible when nothing is being asked of us. When we’re not managing, fixing, or producing. When we’re allowed to arrive exactly as we are.

Maybe at home it doesn’t look like three days. Maybe it looks like ten minutes. Maybe it looks like turning the music up in the car, sitting by the water, or letting yourself rest without explaining why.

I don’t think the goal is to recreate the retreat.I think the invitation is to remember how it felt—and let that memory gently inform how we return to our lives.

Even brief moments of stepping away matter. They remind us that we are more than what we do. And that presence, when we allow it, has a way of finding us again.