Are you Listening?
- Alice Ranker
- Oct 12
- 3 min read
Have you ever agreed or gone along with something and immediately regretted your decision? Or maybe you made a promise to yourself, something like, to start leaving work on time but got swept up into the demands of a project deadline? Self-trust isn’t about always knowing what to do but it is about believing that you will show up for yourself, even when it’s hard. Just like we’ve learned how to reframe negative thoughts and practice repair in our relationships, (look at previous blog posts) rebuilding trust is another tool necessary to live with intention and grace.
Many of us may have grown up in environments where questioning authority figures was highly discouraged. We were taught (verbally and by example) to trust other people’s opinions over our own, to do the right thing, and not to trust our own instincts. It sounded like, “Be nice.” “Don’t make waves.” or “Smile” These messages can cause women to doubt themselves, seek validation, and to ignore our own intuition.
Does this resonate with you? It sure does with me. This is a topic that I visit in some of my therapy sessions. In those sessions, she reminds me to get curious into my thoughts, doubts, and where they originated? Some questions I might ask myself are:
Do I second guess or replay conversations in my mind?
Do I feel the need to over-explain or apologize for a decision I made? Do I say yes when I want to say no and feel resentment later?
Do I struggle to rest, even when I’m exhausted or overwhelmed?
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone, or broken. You’ve just spent years being taught that your inner voice isn’t trustworthy…but she is.
Trusting your inner voice, (intuition, inner knowing, or whatever you call her) isn’t arrogant or as I was taught, sacrilegious. Our inner voice is a reminder that we can trust our intuition.. This also relates to forgiving ourselves when we mess up and knowing that at the core our intentions are good.
Here are 5 practical things you can try to practice self-trust. (insert image)
When Alyssa was in high school I was working on a big project at the same time her volleyball team was hosting a big fundraiser for a tournament. Her coach asked me to lead the fundraiser. I knew I didn’t have the bandwidth for anything else on my plate but I said yes. For the next two weeks I took out my frustration on everyone in my house because I said yes to an obligation when I should have said no. I learned from that to never offer a definitive answer at the moment. It’s hard to say no, because we don’t want to disappoint anyone. But to be true to myself and my own obligations are important. So now I say, “Thank you for the offer. Let me check my calendar to see if I am available and I will let you know.” And once I have given myself time to process if I have time or if I even want to (fill in the blank) I do get back with them. Either I am delighted to participate or I can send regrets with the hopes of doing something in the future. Answering under pressure often gets me in trouble.
Learning to trust your intuition may take time. Make it a part of your quiet, daily practice of listening, honoring, and forgiving. You were created with this inner voice-you just have to learn to trust her again.
As a journal prompt or maybe even a conversion with a good friend ask:
“Where have I been overriding my own knowing, and what’s one small way I can start trusting myself today?”
I hope you have the best week!! Share this blog with your friends, they need it too!
Be sure to read next weeks blog post. The 2026 Grace Filled Life Designer REVEAL!!! I am so excite to share with you the new features and changes that I've made!!!
Much love,
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