Don’t waste your time and energy on things you can not control.
One of the personal growth exercises that I created in the Life Designer is a practice of what you have control over and what you don’t. This is one of the main topics that my clients struggle with. They try to exert control over things, people, or situations where they just simply don’t have any control. So, let’s dig into this a little bit.
There are three areas.
One- you can control.
Two- there may be elements of it you can control.
Three- you have no control.
One- you have control over_____? The answer is YOU. That is the only answer. You can control you, your thoughts, reactions, words, behaviors, etc. You.
Two- you may have some control over_____? Maybe your young children. Maybe things in your environment.
Three- you have NO control over _____? Other people, their thoughts, words, decisions, behaviors, (unless they are abusive-then you have some control).
When we try to control other people, all the elements in our environment, etc one it’s exhausting but also, there’s no win. We simply can not control other people. We end up pushing them away or making matters worse.
I am a recovering control freak. No really. I wanted things done a certain way–my way. And my way was the right way. I wanted to control my children, my spouse, our home, (the world, hahah) all of it. Thank God for growth and evolution. As I matured and became a healthier version of myself as I was able to start releasing some of that control. It wasn't easy and still isn't at times. But ultimately I had to decide if I wanted peace or not. And over time and trial and error, I became more flexible and easy going. "In the big picture, this doesn't matter." That became my mantra. You are welcome to borrow it if it's helpful for you. I couldn’t have peace and joy, be present, and be in control. I had to choose. I chose my personal peace and joy. What about you? What will you choose?