I wasn't listening

I feel conflicted. I often feel conflicted when I’m trying to live out a new permission or value. Several months ago, in a therapy session (and let me just say it-everybody should go to therapy), I was describing or most likely complaining about not having the energy or desire to do things, I wasn't being as productive as I thought I should have been. I had lost sight of the power of just Be’ing. 

My therapist reminded me of something I already knew but had forgotten, each season brings it’s own value, and we're not different from nature. Just as winter holds quiet, restoration, and preparation, our lives carry seasons of rest. She thought I was in one of those seasons. She was right.

So, I’ve been leaning into that and exploring it in a deeper way. I’ve realized that not only was I not listening to my body but I also wasn’t taking my own advice. I needed to build in rest into my routines and ensure that I gave myself permission to do and not do the things that supported what I needed.

This sounds simple, but it’s hard to say no to a friend who wants to have lunch or go to the beach because I love that and I need those connections but I also need to work and do homework and I need alone time or else I’m no good for anyone, including myself. 

This past month has been a hard one. I started a new class, took on a new gig, worked on my updating website with new prints, and I added nine new babies to my chicken flock. And, with Timothy gone since February (aside from a few weekend visits), all the things he usually does land on my plate. 

If I listed it all out, most of it would be things I enjoy.  But here’s the thing, enjoying something doesn't mean it’s not exhausting when it all piles up at once. That’s when the overwhelm really hits.

This week I woke up several mornings with a headache. Was it hormones? Not enough water? Or maybe, just not enough rest.

Rest, I've realized, is more than sleep. It's:

• Intentionally shutting down.

• Walking away from my desk.

• Closing my bedroom door.

• Rolling out my yoga mat for a short routine to wind down.

• Curling up with a book.

• 
  

To build this kind of rest into my routine, I have to:

1. Recognize what I need.

2. Write it down in my planner (because what gets written, gets honored).

3. Most importantly, actually honor it.

And this takes practice. And grace. Practice to weave it into my daily rhythm, and grace for the days when I forget or push too hard. 

Maybe you’re feeling this same conflict, torn between what you ‘should’ be doing and what your body is asking you to do. If so, here’s a reminder: you are not failing by resting, you are restoring.

Today, I invite you to pause and ask:

• What is my body asking for right now?

• Where can I give myself permission to slow down?

• How might I build rest into my routine this week, not as an afterthought, but as a priority?

  
  

Because rest isn’t just sleep. It’s the practice of honoring yourself, your body, your mind, and your spirit, so you can rise again, full and whole. Have the most restful week.

Much love,

PS. Click on the links below. They will take you to my Studio Shop to see all the new prints I've been working on. There is also an events page that shows where I'll be if you are in the local area.

Whispers in the Dark

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Autumn Gatherings

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