Stop laughing, I'm asking a legitimate question. 🙃 Maybe today you evaluate what's in your cup? Maybe your cup is so full it's overwhelming. There's an analogy floating around that shows a cup of water, the person in the video adds some dirt to it and then tries to pick out the dirt a spoonful at a time. This does get rid of some dirt but it also gets rid of the water. Since focusing on the dirt isn't the answer she then adds more water into the cup. She does this until the water is spilling over the sides. There's still a little dirt floating around but the cup is now full and the dirt isn't a big deal.
We are the cup. The good in our life is the water. You get to choose what that is. maybe it's your very being, your inner child, your family, your creative nature...The dirt is the negative or bad stuff. Again, you get to choose what that is. It could be a toxic relationship, unresolved trauma, negative self-talk...The negative never goes away if that is the sole focus. But if you focus on the beauty, the good, and keep filling your life with these things they will overpower the dirt. Now, what I am not saying is...that if you just focus on the good stuff life will be great. No, we have to do the work. That may mean therapy, journaling, setting appropriate boundaries, releasing some people or obligations from your life. Once again, you get to choose. You have the power to decide what needs to happen.
Maybe you relate to this image of the dry desert floor. It's been so long since you focused on your own needs that you don't even know where to start. It seems as if a cup of water won't scratch the surface. Okay, let's go with that, but if you keep doing what you're doing you are gonna keep getting whatcha got (southern slang used on purpose). I think many of you may feel this way. As women we give so much. We are taught and raised to be selfless. We are taught that is how we love. That's bullshit!! We must first love ourselves, fully, completely, and unconditionally. Then and only then can we truly love others.
My friend said recently that it had been so long since her cup was full that she didn't even know where to begin. So let's start there.
Find 15 minutes today to sit with yourself and a notebook, your journal, even your phone will work with the notes app or text yourself.
Evaluate your daily routine. Maybe write it out along with your obligations or responsibilities. What's working and what's not? What can you delegate?
How often are you doing something that fills your cup? Here are some examples: reading a book for pleasure, soaking in the tub, taking a walk, sitting outside and listening and being in nature, going to lunch with a friend...(Yes, these are some of mine. You can boorow them or choose your own).
How can you add one thing that brings you joy and remove one thing you dread?
Mind-map or brainstorm what you need to feel full and loved. If you don't know, no one else will either.
This is a good starting place. I'm interested to know how you do in the process and please know that I am available if you feel stuck. There's no shame in reaching out. I don't know one woman who hasn't experienced this season of life where she wakes up and wonders how she got here. The good news is, it's a season and you don't have to stay here.
I'd love to hear how it's going...please feel free to reply to this blog or email and let me know. And, please share this with the women in your life who's cups are low.
Much love,
Alice
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