The Holiday Survival Guide Nobody Gave Us
- Alice Ranker
- 1 hour ago
- 3 min read
Moving Through the Season with Grace, Humor, Self-Trust… and a Little Joy
If Thanksgiving was the warm-up, December is the marathon.
We made it through the first holiday gathering, congratulations. Plates were passed, conversations were had, and at least one person asked a question that made you take a very intentional sip of your drink. And now, with that momentum behind us, we head into the rest of the season.
The holidays are meaningful. They’re also… a lot.
Even the most loving families come with personalities, histories, and well-worn patterns. Add full calendars, end-of-year deadlines, financial pressure, grief, and expectations (spoken and unspoken), and suddenly December feels less like magic and more like emotional triage.
So, I thought I’d offer the holiday survival guide nobody really gave us, based on tools we’ve practiced all year: awareness, boundaries, reframing, repair, and self-trust.
And yes, there’s still (always) room for twinkle lights, cookies, and laughter.
(save image on your phone for a convenient reminder)
Check Your Battery Before You Arrive
Before you walk into a gathering, pause for a moment and check in with yourself.
Ask:
What am I already carrying today?
How full is my emotional battery?
What do I need before I show up?
Self-awareness matters here. You’re far less likely to lose your footing if you notice where you’re starting from. This is also where you choose joy intentionally. So eat something before you go. Play your favorite Christmas music in the car. Take a few deep breaths before walking in.
Joy is easier to access when your nervous system isn’t already depleted.
Boundaries Are a Gift (Not a Punishment)
You are allowed to step outside for fresh air.
You are allowed to leave early.
You are allowed to say, “Not today.”
Granting yourself permission (Boundaries) doesn’t take away from the holiday, it helps you stay present for the parts you actually enjoy.
Maybe that means:
Stepping away to admire the tree lights in quiet
Sitting with the kids to watch a holiday movie instead of staying in a tense conversation
Saying yes to dessert but no to the debate
Protecting your energy allows you to enjoy the moments that matter.
Reframe Before You React
Not every comment is an invitation. And, not every opinion deserves your energy. Sometimes reframing sounds like:
This says more about them than it does about me.
I don’t have to take the bait.
I can choose curiosity over defensiveness.
And sometimes reframing is choosing to focus on what feels good:
the laughter in the kitchen
the smell of something baking
the sparkle of lights after dark
Remember, taking a deep breath and a moment of humor can go a long way.
Repair in Real Time
Even with the best intentions, we’ll miss the mark sometimes. We snap. We interrupt. We respond from exhaustion instead of clarity. We don’t assume the best of others.
Repair doesn’t require a formal meeting. Often it sounds like:
“That came out sharper than I meant.”
“Let me try that again.”
“I need a minute.”
Repair allows the moment to soften so you can return to connection, whether that’s a shared meal, a board game, or sitting together in comfortable silence.
Trust Yourself
You know what you need, you really do. Trust the nudge to rest. Trust the instinct to leave early. Trust the desire to say yes to joy without overdoing it.
Maybe joy looks like:
driving around to see Christmas lights
baking a family recipe
wrapping gifts with music on
sitting quietly by the tree after everyone’s asleep or before they wake up
Choosing peace over performance doesn’t diminish the season—it deepens it, for you and for others.
For some, I know the holidays are quieter this year. Or they’re complicated, tender, or heavy with grief. If that’s you, your holiday counts too. You’re allowed to create new traditions, simplify old ones, or opt out entirely. A candle, a favorite song, a walk, or a moment of stillness can be enough.
Joy doesn’t have to be loud to be real. You don’t need to do all of this perfectly.
As you move through the season, choose just one tool to carry with you:
Awareness
Boundaries
Reframing
Repair
Trust
Let it guide you gently through the rest of December.
However, and wherever you celebrate, my hope is that you find moments of ease, warmth, and laughter, even (especially) in the middle of the mess.
Much love,
Reflection Prompt for your journal or with a trusted friend-
Which tool do I need most this holiday season—and how can I pair it with something that brings me joy?
***The Bloom with Possibility Grace Filled Life Designer (printed version) will arrive on the 17th! I'm so excited!! Use coupon code BLOOM to save 25% off. And join me on Jan 6 for a 1-hour LIVE workshop to gain insights into the benefits of intentional grace filled living.
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