This is the third anniversary of my dad passing. His loss was unexpected and hard to accept. I can't
tell you how many times I have picked up my phone to call him in the last three years. I have had so many things that I wanted to talk over with him, that I wanted his perspective on or thoughts. Somedays the grief feels raw and hard to process. Other days when he comes to mind I try to focus on the good memories I have of him or us together. I learned a valuable lesson about the human capacity to feel when he passed. After we buried my dad we came home to prepare for our youngest granddaughter's (then) first birthday.
Today is her fourth birthday. I learned that I can experience the joy of celebrating her birthday while still feeling the grief of loss. The human capacity for feeling complex or conflicting emotions at the same time is amazing. However, I think sometimes we allow guilty to diminish our joy and let the grief consume us. Instead, why not fully accept all the feelings, even if it's simultaneously?I know I am not the only one experiencing grief in this season. Several of you have lost parents or loved ones that left you with a gap or an empty space. There are stages to the grief process. I will link an article at the bottom. If you are experiencing grief or sadness that is overwhelming, don't stay there. There are too many resources available and you are worth the effort it takes process it.
For today, allow yourself to feel. Feel it all. Embrace the feelings and the memories. Cry if you need to...laugh...journal...create...reminisce...listen to music...go for a drive...do the thing that you need to do. (Be sure the 'thing' is a healthy thing.)
The Seven Stages of Grief
You are not alone. Feel free to reach out if you need an ear, a shoulder, or a friend.